If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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