is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize