did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
