Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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