It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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