Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
