If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
