I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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