After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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