Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
