Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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