I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
