You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize