i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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