If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
