I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize