Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
