we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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