i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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