I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
