i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I smell stomach acid.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
