Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
