marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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