What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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