i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
