So drunk its hurt
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
