so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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