Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
