If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
there's paper in my vomit.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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