Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
