i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
