i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
