well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
