We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Can I color on your dick again?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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