Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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