if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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