You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
