worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
