THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
