3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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