just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and she was petting her beer can
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize