i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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