best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
