I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
