O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize