I am puke
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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