My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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