Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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