just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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