I think my vagina is haunted
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
