remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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