Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
