I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
