i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
