just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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