How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
