so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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