i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
cat food counts as protein by the way
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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