why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
