Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize