I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
