Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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